I’m guilty of not being as attentive as I can be when treating all of the kids equally. I tend to give more of my time to the baby, because quite frankly, the poor thing couldn’t get anywhere without me. I find myself reminding the kids that they all had their turn as mommy’s baby and right now he needs me. The thing is, they all need me. No matter what stage they are in their childhood, their mother is always needed.
My Truly is my first born. She is my best friend, my learn-as-we-go baby, and the one that I did everything with before her sister was born when she was 3 years old. Her and I have a special connection,we have our own language and own understandings, but I fear she is growing too fast. There are so many times throughout the day when I’m asking her to take care of her sister for me. She’s helping with her sister, with the baby, and everything else I place on her. While my stepson and Truly share the main responsibilities in the house with taking care of siblings and more, when he goes with the other side of his family, the full load falls on my sweet Truly once again
She has always asked me for a “Mommy and Truly Day.” At the start of the summer I thought we would find time. Of course, we didn’t. She would remind me everyday. “Yes, yes we will,” I always told her. Her asking me everyday, turned to every other day, then once a week, once a month, and then, she stopped. The weekend before school started, we were cleaning her room and she stopped and stared at me. “What?!” I told her. “We never had our ‘Mommy and Truly Day’,” she said, tears filling up in her eyes.
Oh crap. She was right. All my little girl has been asking me to do for the longest time was just to spend a day, even just a morning, with just her. Here I was putting it off and putting it off, so much that I didn’t even remember when the last time she had asked me.
I frantically made some calls to my mom and planned to drop off the kiddos to her first thing in the morning to plan our day.
Truly was excited, but I could tell she was totally hesitant and not even sure if it would go through.
But it did.
We started off with breakfast at Cracker Barrel.
Got Mani Pedis after Breakfast
Stopped for Bubble Tea
And spent the rest of the time shopping
By the time we got back to Grandma’s house, we were done by 1pm. She hugged me as we walked to the car, “This is the best day ever!”
I realized it wasn’t even a full day, but she would remember this day forever. I’m finding myself consciously making the choices to assure that each child is feeling loved, acknowledged, and respected. While family time is important, I can see the memories made when a child gets the undivided attention of mom or dad. There were no phone calls or emails (except for our pictures) and no 4 year olds to chase, or 1 year olds to breastfeed. It was just me and my 2nd grader who still thinks her mom is the coolest thing in the world.
As soon as we got back, Addy had no interest in a “Mommy and Addy Day,” but really missed her big sister